Sarcastic quotes about online dating
” Because there is a 99.9% chance she did not find it funny.” #30 “Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn’t made any plans, and trying to figure out how the hell you hurt your back.” #31 “My girlfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on her face…
I love sharpies.” #32 “Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright #33 “If Cinderella’s shoe fit perfectly, then why did it fall off? You don’t want to be that person who could literally write a book about what you wish you would have said. I’m just mean and people think I’m joking.” #35 “Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.” – Winston Churchill #36 “I can only please one person a day. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.” #37 “If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.” -Marilyn Monroe #38 “I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.” #39 “Sometimes I wish I was a bird…
” Insulting smartass quotes Is someone being a total dick and you’re at a loss for what to say? Here are the best insulting smartass quotes we could find. so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.” #40 “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid.
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So, you've finally decided to get a taste of online dating site and are ready to take on this world by a storm making an impeccable first impression on the people you are interested in.
Below you will find our collection of inspirational, wise, and humorous old funny relationship quotes, funny relationship sayings, and funny relationship proverbs, collected over the years from a variety of sources. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one.
If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice.
Good luck figuring out which one.” #28 “The only reason I’m fat is because a tiny body couldn’t store all this personality.” [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company] #29 “You know a girl is mad when she starts off her sentence saying: “I just find it funny how…I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff.” [Read: All the quotes you need while going through a breakup] #15 “You cross my mind only on Thursday morning. Well, historically speaking, more powerful.” #19 “I’m going back to living my fabulous life before you interrupted it to remind me that there are still assholes in this world.” #20 “When your ex says, ‘You’ll never find anyone like me’ reply with: ‘that’s the point.’” #21 “Today I saw something that reminded me of you.That’s the day when I take out the garbage.” #16 “Thanks for dating someone ugly after we broke up.” #17 “Relationships are a lot like Algebra. Don’t worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.” #22 “My ex had one very annoying habit.May I interest you in a sarcastic comment, instead?
” – Chandler, #9 “When I feel down and someone tells me to ‘suck it up,’ I get the urge to break their legs with a baseball bat and then say ‘walk it off.’” Breakup smartass quotes Love is grand, until it isn’t.Breathing.” [Read: Being single – 30 happy, inspiring quotes for singles] Smartass quotes to live by Don’t let someone else dictate how you live your life. Whether you’re looking to tell it like it is, or offer someone a confusing truth about human behavior, these 11 quotes to live by are sure to help you out.